Let's not play the blame game

[Dad] clean up your mess.
[Maria] you clean it up.
[Dad] you made the mess.
[Maria] let's not play the blame game.

I love you leather couch

I love you leather couch. i wish i was you. except we fart on you.

Do you know how hard it is to be in kindergarten?

[Maria's stressed out and running late for school, on halloween party day...she just got in trouble in the car]
Maria: Do you know how hard it is to be in kindergarten??!!!!
Dad: Not very
Maria: We only get one recess a day!

Bring Back The Hot Dogs

Daniela: Why does daddy have to go to work?
Maria: Somebody has to bring back the hot dogs.

Coolest Car In The World

[Right after getting a minivan]
Maria: You know what the coolest car in the world is? A minivan.

Handsome Boys Are My Deal

Maria: Handsome boys are my deal.

No Shit

[Dad is changing Daniela's poopy diaper in the morning, and gets a little on her shirt. Daniela is in her "no" stage.]
Dad: Ahhh, shit.
Daniela: No shit.

On Philosophy

Maria: I'm so glad I have you and Mommy and...me.
Dad: What would you do if you didn't have you?
Maria: Not be.

I Was Born To Eat Mac N Cheese

Maria: When it comes to mac n cheese I eat everything. I was born to eat mac n cheese.

Maria Boo Boo Butt

[Maria just fell and bumped her butt against one of the family room's cupboards.  Daniela's first three word phrase was:]
Daniela: Maria boo boo butt!

Harry Pottie

Maria: What movie are you seeing?
Julie: Harry Potter
Maria: Harry Pottie?

Advice Before A Show

[Maria giving advice to Dad before his band's show]
Maria: Daddy, don't burp or tell jokes when you have a recital.

Spin And Rolls

Maria: Mom, are we having spin and rolls for breakfast?

It's a Telemarker

[The phone rings...]
Maria: Don't get it. It's a telemarker.

Kid Smacktalk

[Maria comeback]: Put your panties in the wash machine!

The Boss of You

[Steph is painting Maria's nails, and Maria wants to paint.]
Maria: Mom, when you get old am I gonna be the boss of you?
Mom: Sure
Maria: OK, good. Then I am going to paint your nails.

Bad Boys

Maria: I like bad boys, actually. I shouldn't.

Oh Crap!

Steph: Oh crap.
Maria: Oh crap. I just learned a new word!

I Take It All Back

[A week earlier, our neighbors Jill and George (that have a pool Maria loves) were over for a campfire, and when they left, Maria told George to not ever come over again. Today, after visiting with George for a while:]
Maria: One more thing...when I said you couldn't come over any more - I take it all back. You can come over any time, and I can come over to your house too.

Smiling At Me

[On the city bus, riding to the state fair]
Maria: Why is everybody smiling at me?